You knew it was bound to happen. That moment where you realize that the thing you had to cover your mouth and make sure you didn’t hurl when another mother said they did it has become your own. Enter JL’s first cold and the slimy trail he left on all of my shirts and the crusty mess around his nose when he woke up in the mornings – still smiling though! Those little ball suckers were just not cutting it. I could hear him wheezing, and if I had to hear my mother tell me one more time that I needed to wipe his nose I might explode. I retreated to the bathroom and pulled out the “Baby Meds” box I packed in one of my nesting fits. There lay the offending object I knew would have me eating my words– the NoseFrida Snotsucker.
I’m not a squeamish person. I enjoy watching Dr.PimplePopper on Instagram, and yet the idea of actively sucking the snot out of JL’s nose and into my mouth was something I couldn’t get behind. “Just wait til he’s crying and you just want to help him” an old coworker told me. “He’s gonna hate it and then smile realizing he can breathe, and eh- they already puke and pee on you soooo” an old roommate told me. So I gave in. I joined the ranks of other mothers casually sucking the snot out of their little ones’ noses. And let me tell you- that shit is amazing.
First things first, JL actively hates it. He looks at it and knows its coming. So now he puts his hands up like “not my nose!” and wiggles away from me, and often screams. And then, about 3 seconds after we start- it’s done and he’s all smiles like “who was making all that noise?”. Am I completely repulsed by what I am doing? Maybe a little part of me is, but I try and feel better about myself knowing that I have a filter on the end that is keeping it from actually getting in my mouth makes me much happier. The fact that it works amazingly well and keeps his nose clean enough that he can actually sleep kinda helps placate my (and his) annoyance. Do I also love that they hide this genius invention in plain sight at CVS, Walgreens, and Target (my version of the promised land)? Hell Yes. One less trip to Babies R’Us for me!
So if you’re at home listening to your baby wheeze and thinking, “Halp! What do I do!?” remember that you have this tribe of other awesome mommies around you who have been there, done that, and in some instances, sucked it up – because that’s kinda what being a mom is all about.